I wanted to die at an early age and just couldn’t understand why God would make me stay where I didn’t want to be. I was just taking up space and would wallow in feelings of uselessness, hopelessness and sadness.  My parents did all they could for me, but they didn’t know just how bad it was for me. I learned how to mask my feelings and put on that “good little girl” mask. My parents were attentive, yet I hated myself. I was always sad and believed my parents only loved me because they “had” to. Suicide was often on my mine. I would be another 25 years before I would be able to understand the root cause of my “why”.

The suicidal feelings continued until I was introduced to Nichiren Daishonin Buddhism at the age  of 21. This form of Buddhism came from Japan to the U.S. when the Japanese war brides came to this country. When I was introduced, the majority of members were Japanese ladies, who had the courage to propagate a foreign philosophy in a land where they were considered the “enemy” and had only broken English in which to communicate, but communicate they did.

From the first time I sat down in front of an alter and looked upon a “Gohonzon”, I never looked back. I knew I was home. (The Gohonzon is a mandala or object of worship, but I’ll explain the Gohonzon later, so stay tuned.) As I knelt on the floor, the incense burning, a bell ringing, and the chanting of many voices coming together to make one sound was music to my ears, “Nam-myoho-renge-kyo” . Everyone else was either on the floor kneeling with me, or sitting in chairs, rubbing their prayer beads together. I felt a soothing balm on my wounded heart. “Nam-myoho-renge-kyo, Nam-myoho-renge-kyo, Nam-myoho-renge-kyo”.  The house seems to vibrate and I felt as if I would just levitate off the floor. “Nam-myoho-renge-kyo” is loosely translated as; to devote oneself to the mystic law of cause and effect through sounds and vibrations in the universe.

Buddhism touched me in a way that nothing else had.  Although my Dad was a devote Baptist and Sunday school teacher, my mother a Methodist, Christianity just didn’t feel right to me. As a child I had a relationship with “God”, but had a hard time believing the Christianity they were selling. Later I understood it just wasn’t my truth.  As I began to chant, set up my own alter and began to attend meetings, I began to see that there was a purpose for me, I had to be alive, and I had a mission. My life had purpose! There was a reason for me to continue to take up space on this earth.

I didn’t become instantly beautiful, or smart, or well adjusted, but the picture being reflected back to me was no longer some grotesque unlovable monster. Chanting was like polishing a tarnished mirror. The more I did, the better I was able to see life without a distorted view. Nichiren Daishonin Buddhism saved my life.

Over the course of those thirty years I’ve faced many of life’s major challenges. I developed chronic debilitating diseases (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Fibromyalgia) at the age of 40. I lost my husband at 43, lost my father at 45, relocated to Florida, found my passion and began living a life worth having. None of these challenges were easy, but what I was to learn over time is that if I hadn’t had these experiences, survived them, I ultimately wouldn’t be able to teach others how to survive these same challenges. Did I say it wasn’t easy? But I came through it and so can you.

I began my business a few years ago called “Mystic Journeys”.  I realized that life is but one long journey with many roads, twists and turns along the way. We have the opportunity to embrace this life or we can go kicking and screaming. So I decided that I would look at my life as one great adventure after another. As “Mystic Journeys” I offer Spiritual Counseling, Intuitive Reading, Life Coaching and Reiki Healing. I had to walk through all of my challenges to lead the way for others. I have become a strong, loving, compassionate, spiritual and wise woman (if I say so myself).  I’m not done yet, but I like the woman I am. I look forward to the future and can’t wait to see what else life has in store for me. Some times all we have to do is show up, shine our light and prepare for a wild ride. Together we will find what avenues to take so all of us can prepare for the next leg of our mystic journey.

Peace & blessings,

Makeda